Ask Susan!

“Dear Susan: My heart wants a cabin and boat. My head wants a college fund for 3 kids. Can you break the tie?”

For those who prefer to watch and listen (click video) Susan settles the battle between your head and your heart.

Transcript:

Hello everyone,

I’m Susan Stiles, and I’ve spent decades helping individuals and families make thoughtful, strategic decisions about their money. One of the most common dilemmas I see is the classic tug-of-war between what the heart wants and what the head knows is smart.

A recent letter to my “Ask Susan” column captured this perfectly. It read: “Dear Susan: My heart wants a cabin and a boat. My head wants a college fund for three kids. Can you break the tie?”

Now, I love this question because it speaks to something we all wrestle with—especially men who tend to move quickly when it comes to fun, exciting purchases. So here’s my answer, and my guidance to anyone who’s facing a similar internal debate.

First, you need to start with your head. Big purchases should never come before your financial foundation. That means covering your core responsibilities first. If you have kids, that may include some kind of college funding plan like 529 accounts. It’s tax-advantaged and gives you and your children a path forward. You also need to be contributing to your retirement, building emergency savings, and making sure your insurance and cash flow are under control.

Once those essentials are in place, then you can start evaluating what’s left for discretionary spending. That’s where the heart can come into play. Ask yourself: Will this cabin or boat enhance our lives in a meaningful way? Will it bring our family closer? Will we use it enough to justify the cost? I may be able to afford the purchase but what about the on going maintenance costs and time associated with it?

Life enjoyment matters. If a purchase strengthens family bonds and creates lasting memories, that’s a return on investment too—just not one you measure in dollars. But we have to be intentional. The last thing you want is to make a decision today that limits your options tomorrow.

If you’re not sure about the commitment, try renting first. A cabin for a summer, a boat for a season. See how it fits into your life before you jump in fully. Sometimes the experience is enough. Other times, it’s the confirmation you need to move forward.

Ultimately, balance is the goal. You don’t have to choose between joy and responsibility. You can have both. With the right plan, you can enjoy life now without sacrificing your future. It’s not about saying no—it’s about saying yes at the right time, in the right way.

And remember—everyone’s situation is different. Some of you own your own businesses. Some have trusts to draw from. Some are working hard and saving everything you can.

At Stiles Financial, we understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. We take the time to understand your unique circumstances, and we help you build a plan that reflects your goals, your values, and your vision for the future.

So call us. Let’s talk. We’re here to help you find the right path—one that works for both your heart and your head.

Thank you. I’ll see you in the next Ask Susan Column.

– Susan

 

 

Video transcribed by https://otter.ai