Ask Susan!

“Dear Susan: When it comes to family finances, they have me flustered. Any suggestions on how to get more comfortable?”

For those who prefer to watch and listen (click video) Susan helps to keep your downsizing from becoming a bigger problem.

Transcript:

Thanks for joining me, I’m Susan Stiles, founder of Stiles Financial Services.

In my “Ask Susan” column, I answered a common question that I hear all too often from women I talk to. They want to better understand their money situation and be involved in the decision making, but they don’t feel confident yet in that role. Perhaps because they were busy raising the kids, or their spouse what the primary income generator, so they took a back seat. Or maybe they just weren’t the “money person” and finances seemed like they were better handled by someone else.

Whatever the reason, it’s time to step up and take an active role in the decision-making because you are a team and this future nest egg you’re building is both of yours. And that “flustered” feeling you have – well, it won’t go away on its own. You need to step up, dig in and get started.

So today I want to talk directly to the woman who’s maybe been sitting on the sidelines of the financial conversation in her home.

We’re going to discuss how to get started. What questions to ask. What to look for, and how to seek out answers to the questions you’ll undoubtably have as you get more involved. So let’s start.

I’ve worked with many women over the years — smart, successful, dedicated — who suddenly found themselves in a position where they had to step into the financial lead. Sometimes because of illness. Sometimes divorce. Sometimes tragedy. And while the emotions are tough, what makes it worse is not knowing where to begin.

If you can, you should approach this with your partner, together.

If your spouse or partner is the one who typically “handles the money,” I encourage you to set aside time — not just once, but regularly — to review your finances as a team.

1. Get a Financial Snapshot

Ask to review:
– Where your assets are located (bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement funds).
– How they’re invested, and why they’re structured that way.
– What you own jointly, and what’s in each of your names.
– What your monthly budget looks like — both needs and wants.
– And where your debts stand — credit cards, loans, mortgages.

No shame. No guilt. Just facts. Because knowledge is power.

2. Ask the ‘Why’ Behind the Strategy

Don’t just accept “It’s fine” or “It’s handled.” Ask:
– Why are we invested this way?
– What’s our long-term strategy?
– Are we diversified? Are we prepared for emergencies or retirement?
– What happens if one of us isn’t here tomorrow?

These aren’t nosy questions. They’re responsible, loving, essential questions.

3. Work with a Mentor or Advisor

If you feel overwhelmed — that’s okay. We all start somewhere. But you don’t have to do it alone.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk through these details with a neutral third party — someone who can walk you through terms like IRAs, 529s, RMDs, taxable gains — and show you what they actually mean in your life.

That’s where a professional can be so helpful.

At Stiles Financial, we always make sure that everyone connected to a client’s account is aware of the assets, allocations, risk levels and timeframes. We make sure all clients meet with and can ask direct questions to the Portfolio Manager who put their portfolio together. Because a better-informed client leads to more trust and confidence that the decisions being made are in their best interest and with full transparency. So, arrange a sit-down with your financial advisor, if you have one.

4. Why This Matters More Than You Might Think

Here’s the reality:

Women tend to live longer than men.
And many will find themselves making financial decisions alone — sometimes unexpectedly.

You don’t want the first time you’re looking at a portfolio to be after a loss.
You want to be ready. Not scared. Not scrambling.

And beyond the “what ifs” — you deserve to have a voice in how your family builds wealth, protects its future, and supports the things that matter most to you.

Closing

So here’s what I want you to remember:
📌 You don’t need to know everything.
📌 You just need to start asking questions.
📌 You don’t need to become a financial expert.
📌 But you do need to be financially aware.

Don’t wait for a crisis. Don’t wait for permission. And don’t wait until it feels convenient — because it rarely does.

Start now. Start small. Start curious.

As you get more involved and questions arise, make sure to consult reputable websites and financial advisors operating as Fiduciaries. There are many people out there who want to take advantage of your lack of knowledge and a portfolio of funds. Working as a trusted team with your partner is the best way forward, but if that’s not an option, then a trusted financial mentor or existing financial consultant would be next.

Lastly, I want to make sure you KNOW you can handle this! You’re a smart person and just making this commitment to better understand your finances is the most important first step. And each step along the way, you’ll understand it better and better and that “flustered” feeling with be a distant memory.

Thanks for following my “Ask Susan” column and thanks for watching.
See you next month.

– Susan

 

 

Video transcribed by https://otter.ai